Let’s be honest there are countless of online threads, websites, mommy-blogs and books you can turn to that will give you all the medical advice, things to buy, “what to expect”, and how to break the bigs news to loved ones at your finger tips. this is not one of those places. I’m here to write about the things people don’t give you a heads up on, the weird shit, the unexpected things when you’re expecting. So whether you’ve just found out the big news, or maybe you’re trying and are curious of things to come, or an experienced mama who just wants to join in on the conversation/ sympathize with me, welcome!
First off if you don’t know me, hi I’m Kylie, I’m 10 weeks along, first baby, first time for learning all the weird things your body does during this journey.
I think we all know someone who has been there, someone to turn to for some guidance, and hey if you don’t know them there will be people who will tell you anyway, prepare yourself for unsolicited advice from, well, everyone.
Don’t be surprised if you start getting advice and tips from men as well. This ladies, was the first unexpected thing to have me go, “oh didn’t see that coming.”
No one prepared me for the odd reactions from men (not close family or friends) that just openly tell you how your life will be now, talk about how their wives were during their pregnancies, and boldly ask you details about how you are feeling, and want to know all about your symptoms. like what? I was just expecting a ‘congratulations’ and move on. Be prepared for awkward belly stares, and comments like “i don’t see a baby” or “you don’t look pregnant” . And comments like “you don’t seem excited” The things that come out of peoples mouths will shock you. Just want you to be prepared. I wasn’t.
Expect to be the only sober one at holiday parties, family reunions, etc… okay so not a bombshell realization. However, you might not have considered what being the only sober one entails. That means, around 5 pm on Thanksgiving day, with everyone 7-8 cocktails deep, waiting for food to be ready, people are hungry, people get sloppy, that one weird uncle you have might be waiting to pop off, or grandma slyly makes a jab at her ex- (your grandpa) about how he would take an hour and a half to drive the babysitter home back in the day. Maybe your super conservative relatives start preaching about how the liberals want to eat your babies as a population control technique. Thanks, Karen, I’ve lost my appetite now. Being the sober one, you just have to take it all in, and try to survive. Maybe sneak away and snack on some baked brie and bread oh wait, we cant have brie 🙁 another thing I wasn’t properly warned about!
Napping becomes less of a luxury and more of a necessity for everyday survival. I have never felt exhausted like 7 weeks pregnant, full time student,2 late night jobs, 2 dogs and a husband, exhausted. At about 2 pm everyday you may start to feel the unforgiving, metaphorical wall you forcibly hit with your body at full speed, knocking you on your ass and not relenting until you close your eyes for at least an hour maybe 2 if you’re lucky (imagine what its going to be like when the babys here) !! haha.
Sleeping in general becomes less comfortable. Your boobs will be so sore its hard to lay down with them touching anything without letting out a little cry. Turns out while the baby is making itself comfy and a little home inside you, your body is working to make that room by shifting some things around, and it may come as no surprise but this can cause for discomfort. Tossing and turning to find a comfy position at night is become my new norm.
So there’s a-lot of “cant’s” when we’re expecting, like we cant jump on trampolines or eat subway anymore. But we caaaannnn eat a half dozen of chocolate chip cookies and not feel guilty. OK, so, maybe that’s not medically supported advice, but I promise an indulgence here and there is good for you (or at least your sanity).
Breaking up with coffee will be hard if you’re anything like me and your norm is waking up to a full pot of Folgers in your cup. But this too shall pass. The doctor will tell you a cup of coffee is fine, so I just make that cup last as long as possible, usually drink half pour out the cold half and refill. That way it feels like I’m drinking more but really I’m only getting one cup.
Jokes aside, it is an exciting time. Everyday is like a new adventure you get to take with yourself and your growing babe. Its easy to get ahead of yourself, constantly wanting the weeks to go by faster and faster, you want the 1st trimester to be over because of all the crappy stuff that comes with it, you want to be 20 weeks so you can know the sex of the babe, you want to get out of the is “she just fat or preggo” stage so you can avoid the prolonged belly stares, and you just want the babe to be here already! I’ve had all these thoughts, I want time to speed up because I cant handle the excited anticipation I feel. But you have to slow down, take it all in, every day, every second, enjoy the journey. That’s what I keep reminding myself, because tomorrow is going to be different and we will never get back today.
I close out this essay as a woman only 10 weeks into pregnancy, naive in the ways of being a mom and how the rest of this journey will play out. I’m going to enjoy the ride and report back along the way.